I'm a man. I can fix that.
Don't have a spoon? I can fix that!
New TV too big? I can fix that!
No bottle opener? I can fix that!
Room too dark using compact fluorescents? I can fix that!
Electrical problem? I can fix that!
Car stereo stolen? I can fix that!
Can't read the ATM screen? I can fix that!
Car imported from the wrong country? I can fix that!
WTF?
Gotta feed the baby AND do the laundry? I can fix that!
Cables falling behind the desk? I can fix that!
Out of diapers? I can fix that!
(Hat tip to Ted for sending me this)
A short love story.
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying... "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.""I have a better idea", she replied. "Just for tonight... let's pretend that we're married.""'Wow!... That's a great idea!", he exclaimed."Good," she replied... "Get your own f*cking blanket."After a moment of silence...He farted.
Launch your boat properly
Dude just bought a new boat and decided to take her for the maiden voyage.
This was his first boat and he wasn't quite sure of the exact procedures for launching it off a ramp, but figured it couldn't be too hard.
He consulted his local boat dealer for advice, but all they said was "don’t let the trailer get too deep in the water".
Well... he didn't know what they meant by that as he could barely get the trailer in the water at all!
Here's a picture:
